At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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