she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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