I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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