Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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