So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
