I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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