I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize