its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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