I got chris browned last night
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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