i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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