cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
