I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
No subtext here. People are naked.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
