she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Please don't give away my fajitas
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
