btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
