before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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