One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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