perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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