dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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