I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
