I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
