actually, I'm a sock model
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
