dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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