I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
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If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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