it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Randomize