Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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