oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
