He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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