Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
