She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
