end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
