I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
