I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
