Whod you bang
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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