Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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