My brain says no but my pants say off.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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