I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
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There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
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I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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