that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
