how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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