My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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