like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
