Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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