I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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