I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
