Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
