she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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