We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
