no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
