if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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