Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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