is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
im six kinds of drunk right now
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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