She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
