I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
