Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
