If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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