You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
