Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
