I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
whose ass print is on the piano?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
