i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
