Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Can I color on your dick again?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
