ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I have post one night stand depression
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