In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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