why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
