Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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