we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
