i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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