this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
