yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
