well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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