good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
